numb

It is after three am, on September the 8th.

I am awake still, I think, anyway. I'm fairly sure I'm coherent and not hallucinating the whole thing.

I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince. You the reader, or myself.

Who knows, honestly. I'm pretty sure I saw face in the darkness, outlined on the wall, but that could simply be my brain creating patterns and images in the dark.

Pretty kaleidoscope of colors, whirling about in the brainpan, despite the dark room. The only light comes from my computer screens, and they are too bright. Easily fixed, however, so now the light is dimmer.

I'm lost now.

Where am I?

Was that shadow always there?

Why do I hear water flowing?

I feel something in my brain, dancing between the many folds and contours of the mind.

[giggle]

He's watching me right now. Peering with those cold dark eyes.

I'm not afraid of you.

But he's afraid of me. He knows that if I sleep, he'll go away.

Wish I could sleep. Not to rid myself of my watcher, no. I'm not afraid of him.

I wish for the little men in my head to stop working so hard. The brainpan needs some rest.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap...................

It's like a dance!

Swirl whirl and twirl to the beat!

Did I say what day it was?

Is it Tuesday still if sleep hasn't come yet? Day is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable. Is it? I'm so unsure now....

Is it Tuesday or is it Wednesday? Does it matter?

My computer says it is Wednesday, yet I have not slumbered yet. I have not marked the end of one day with sleep and the beginning of the next upon awaking.

Go away, cold little man. Cease your chattering and leave me in peace.

Something is jumbled tonight.

I know.

I'm not supposed to be like this.

I think reality is warped.

Or is what I think reality the warped factor?

Warp factor ten, Sulu.

Aye aye, Captain Tightpants!

I don't give a good gorramn what you think! Get me off this planet!

The pretty lights capture and hold attention, hypnotizing its hapless victims.

I should follow them, I think. I want to know what's beyond that horizon.