It is commonly accepted knowledge that the bond between siblings rivals that of peanut butter and the palate, more commonly referred to as the roof of the mouth.
Or, that’s what Nathan always told me after eating a peanut butter sandwich and chugging a glass of milk. “Brie,” he would say, “there are few pleasures in life that are greater than peanut butter.” I would roll my eyes and inform him that his obsession with peanut butter would lead to an early heart attack.
Nathan. My heart still wrenches in a nauseatingly painful way every time I think of the kid. Though, I suppose at 6 foot 3 and 24 years old he really wasn’t a kid any more. But he’ll always be my baby brother, even if he is six feet under in the cemetery in Boulder, Colorado. Childhood memories don’t send me into a fit of depression like they used to at the beginning. I’m still not sure if it’s because I’m finally healing, or if I’m simply pushing the pain away. Rosie would tell me I’m healing, but that woman has optimism that would make even the most skeptical non-believer into a bonafide optimist.
The Bay always looks beautiful at night. The sparkling lights that twinkle and shimmer over the choppy waves and wakes left behind by large ships leaving The Bay. The Golden Gate extends equally to both my left and my right, like two large rust colored arms that are holding the peninsula to the mainland. It still beckons to me, though the call isn’t as strong as it was a year ago. I made a choice that night and vowed to be back here, standing in this specific place, exactly one year later to face the same decision, and to make another choice. I stare down at the dark water, at the same crossroads I faced before. Could I chose to live? I stand there and mull over the past 12 months, my eyes focusing and unfocusing as I stare mesmerized at the lights twinkling over the water.
Wait. I’m getting ahead of myself. I suppose I should explain why I was here in the first place and how I came to the point where I am today.
16 months prior
December 24, 2011
"Love generously, praise loudly, live fully"
Elias Porter
A large, tanned hand reached out from under the heavy down comforter to grasp blindly at sudden explosion of sound emitting from the black cellphone. Clumsily pushing at buttons, a deep voice growled into the receiver.
“It is four in the fucking AM, Brielle. You had better have one hell of a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
“Good morning to you as well, my dear brother.” The cheerful female voice made him grit his teeth in aggravation. “I simply called to ensure that you would be at the airport at my arrival. The plane is departing from SFO in 15 minutes and will be landing at Bradley International by 7:00 your time."
There was silence from the dark side of the line before he managed to grit out from between clenched teeth “and you felt the need to call me two hours before I needed to leave…why?”
“Nathan Reynolds, you are late for everything. You should be thanking me for calling you.”
An irritated grunt. “I’ll consider it later when there is something we humans like to call sunlight out.”
A soft chuckle was his response before the line went dead. He glared at the cellular device before pulling the comforter back over his head. There was still an hour of sleep in his future, and he intending on utilizing that time to its fullest potential.
----------------
“December in Vermont. And to think, it seemed like a great idea last July.” Brielle pushed her thick rimmed, black and green glasses up the curve of her nose, shoved her hands into her coat sleeves, and scanned the row of cars for her brother’s forest green Subaru. It was a full 40 degrees cooler at the Baltimore airport than when she left San Francisco at 1:30 that morning. “I swear to god, if he brought the Mazda instead…” The bright red Mazda RX-8 Nathan had purchased a year prior was what Bri referred to as his early onset midlife crisis car.
Tinny Christmas music was being piped through the airport speakers and gaudy decorations littered the foliage and walls sending the message to anyone dull enough not to realize it was indeed the Christmas season. She tugged on the flaps of her hat to better cover her frozen ears and silently cursed the red-brown dredlocks preventing the hat from fitting properly. While in California the dreds didn’t make a difference, here in snowy Vermont they were proving to be a pain.
“Brielle Kale Reynolds!”
A huge grin crossed her face as she heard her name and she whirled around, coming face to face with her younger brother.
“Bri, get your ass over here and give me a hug.” A smile on his scruffy face countered the gruffness of his voice and she found herself wrapped in a bear hug. “It’s good to see you, Big Sister.”
“I have missed you, Little Brother.” She pulled away from the hug and grasped his arms with gloved hands. “I suppose you can’t thank me yet for waking you up.”
“It is 7:30 and snowing. What the hell were you thinking flying in this early?” His glare didn’t have the reaction he wanted.
When her laughter died down, she looked closer at her brother. “You look different, Nate.”
He smirked and turned to pick up her suitcase. “That’s what happens when two years go by without a visit.”
“At least we skype.” She retorted playfully, adjusting her colorful patchwork hobo bag. “It’s more than Mother and Dad get.”
“And what the hell are you dressed like?” He looked at the light brown cargo pants, brown winter boots, dark blue t-shirt over a long sleeved shirt that informed the reader they were dumb in binary, topped with her knee length brown coat and snickered. “You’re only 27 and you’ve already turned homeless on me while living in the great San Fran?” He received a slug in the arm for his comment and grabbed at the ‘bruise’. “Oh no, I’ve been hit. Help, my arm is crushed!”
“Shut it, lard butt.” Brielle smiled happily, her hazel eyes sparkling with mirth. She slipped her arm through his and answered his question. “This is what all the starving artists are wearing these days, don’t you know?”
“Brie, I hate to break it to you, but that fashion wasn’t ‘cool’ twenty, ten, hell five years ago, let alone today.” The lock on the Subaru beeped and he pulled open the trunk. “You look like a geeky bohemian. Besides, aren’t you a computer programmer?”
“Fashion-smashion.” She waved a hand in the air dismissively. “When have I ever cared about that?” Sliding into the passenger seat, she shuddered at the cold leather. “Jesus, Nate, turn on the heat.”
“Let me turn on the car first. Patience woman!” The car hummed as the engine warmed and Nate rubbed his hands together to work the chill from them. “Today is warmer than yesterday, anyway. Yesterday‘s high hit 15. This morning has already surpassed that at a balmy 20!”
“Oh how joyous. It‘s a heat wave.” She rolled her eyes and shoved her hands in front of the heat vent. “There is a reason I live in San Francisco. Coldest I’ve seen it was 45. Yes, I am a programmer, but that doesn’t mean I can’t dress like my inner starving artist. You’ve seen my blog, haven’t you?”
“You ask me this every time we talk, Sister-mine.” The tires crunched through the crusted snow as he pulled out of the parking spot and headed towards the main highway. “And my answer remains the same. I read every new post, whether I agree with it or not.” The blinker ticked left and he glanced at his sister. “Do you want to stop for coffee?” He held in a chuckle at the ‘you’re a dumbass’ glare that was sent his way.
“Do you really need to ask?”
-------------------
The barista was extraordinarily chipper for 7:30 in the morning. Of course, working at a coffee shop, she had probably already consumed more caffeine so far that morning than a sleep deprived college student during finals week.
“Hi! Welcome to Java’s Palace! My name is Jessica. What can I get for you today?”
Brielle, resisting the urge to mock the barista, hummed indecisively before shrugging. “I will have a soy almond mocha, with no whip, extra chocolate shavings, and a squirt of peppermint. And a double-shot of espresso."
The peppy blond adopted a look of confusion, her head tilting in a way she probably thought was cute. “You want a double-shot of espresso on the side?”
Brielle shook her head and her tone turned condescending when she replied. “No, the double shot goes into the latte. The largest size you have, please.”
The girl behind the counter blinked twice before turning and smiling flirtatiously at Nate. “And for you, sir?”
“Medium. Black.” He grunted.
“Of course sir. Any flavor shots, cream, or sugar?" Her elf hat jingled as she spoke.
There was a pregnant pause before Nate’s eyebrows rose slightly and he repeated slowly. “Black.”
The smile waned and she nodded. “That will be $5.28 please.” Cash exchanged hands and the brother/sister duo turned away from the counter.
“I think all that bleach has damaged her brain.” Brielle snickered when Jessica turned to prepare their drinks. “I am loving the elf hat though. Matches her skirt and lime green leggings. Who wears a skirt in below-freezing weather when snow is falling in huge flakes?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Why does a 27 year old successful computer programmer who practically owns her own business still dress like she’s a starving artist from five years ago?” Nate grumped back at her. “Face it, Sis. You have just as much fashion sense as Barbie over there.”
“Hey!” She tugged at her brightly colored stripped scarf and retorted, “At least I have a style. You wear the same clothes you’ve worn since you were 18. That‘s six years without changing your style, Bro.”
He glanced down at the faded AC/DC shirt and black, calf-length overcoat and scoffed. “I like black!”
“Try a different color, Neo. Red, red is good. So is blue. Goes with your black hair.”
“Yeah, because I am going to take fashion advice from you.” He reached over and yanked the fuzzy, garishly bright Russian-style hat off her head. “This looks like you killed a rabbit and sewed it to something the yarn monster threw up. Not to mention the spaghetti you have piled on your head.” He jostled the dreds playfully with the scrunched up hat.
“Hey, that was keeping my head warm! It’s fucking cold here!” She tried to take the hat back but her short height created a disadvantage.
He chuckled at her attempts. “I can’t believe you still have this hat. I bet you have a bird nesting in your hair, Bri.” He let her snatch the hat back and smirked at her.
“And you have a baby alligator in your toilet.” Sarcasm dripped from her words as she rolled her eyes at her brother.
“His name is Fred, how’d you know I had an alligator? I thought I had kept him a surprise!”
“Ooooh…” She shook her fist at Nate who caught it in his hand and reached out to smack the back of her head. She dodged the slap and poked his side. “You always ruin my comebacks.”
“I don’t have to ruin them, Sis, they come pre-ruined.”
“What kind of a name is Java’s Palace?” She changed the subject and glanced around, half expecting a Jabba the Hut made out of a coffee cup to don the walls.
He leaned his back against the tall round table and crossed his arms casually. “Eh, the owner is a Star Wars nerd. Figured it was clever enough for the people who are obsessed with Star Wars to laugh, and those who were clueless to simply believe it was clever.” Nate shrugged nonchalantly. The drinks appeared on the counter and he grabbed them with a polite nod to Jessica. “Thanks.”
“Mmm…” Brielle inhaled the fragrant steam and took a tentative sip. “Just the way I like it.”
“All prissified, are you Sis?” He held up his own paper cup and grinned. “Just give me plain coffee.”
“Black drink for a black soul.” She retorted in a light, playful tone.
“Oh, clever!” He clapped his free hand against his wrist and smirked. “How long have you been waiting to use that one?”
“Not long. About, say, ten seconds.” A nonchalant shrug, a quick adjustment of the glasses, and a smirk thrown over her shoulder and she headed towards the door. “C’mon, Nate. I want to stop at Trader Joes on the way home.”
The smirk grew at her brother’s astonished sputtering as he followed her to the car.
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“Remind me why we’re going to a snooty organic store again?” Nate whipped around a slow moving car without using the blinker.
“Have you forgotten driving etiquette during your stint in Brattleboro?” A finger tapped on the iPhone screen before she sighed. “I know you don’t have anything at your place that I wish to consume. I refuse to eat white bread, potatoes, and steak. I also no longer eat dairy so I require almond or soy milk.”
“Oh. My. God.” Nate let out a loud groan. “When did you mutate into an organic, vegan hippie?"
“During grad school, if you must know.” She wrinkled her nose at him in irritation and went back to tapping on her iPhone.
He smacked a hand to his forehead in exasperation. “Goddamn it, I knew your going to UC Berkley was a bad idea.”
A slender finger poked at her brother’s temple. “At least I WENT to grad school Mr. ‘I don’t need schooling’.”
He snorted and swatted her finger away. “Psht, I didn’t need school! At least not prissy, snobbified education. I got all the practical education I needed for my line of work at the community college.”
“Take the next exit.” She pointed to the green sign ahead and sighed. “Are you happy?”
“Huh?” Nate tossed a glance at Brielle before moving off the highway. “Yeah, I suppose I am. I love my job, I have a nice house in a small cozy town, and I have my dog. I do wish I could see Destiny more than I do, but besides that I’m content.”
“How is that going, by the way?”
He sighed. “Let’s just say I really hate long distance relationships. There are days when all I can think of is being with her. I can‘t wait until she‘s done with school.”
“How much longer does she have? She’s a graphic design major, correct?”
He nodded the affirmative. “Another year. She’ll graduate next December. She’s planning on coming out here for her spring break but that all depends on her Grandma. Gram is in the hospital again.”
Her brow furrowed in concern at her almost-sister-in-law‘s troubles. “Really? What happened this time?”
A heavy sigh. “Stroke.”
Brielle nodded sympathetically. “You know, we could always take a road trip next summer. The three of us can meet in Boulder or San Fran and we go from there to hit all of the major tourist places of each state. I miss her, too.”
He hummed and eyed her skeptically. “Can you take that much time off of work?”
“Can you?” She fired back with a snort. “I can work from anywhere that has internet connection. My cohorts don’t need constant supervision from me. You, however, will find it very difficult to fix cars when you aren’t even in the same state, let alone 5000 miles away.”
“Eh, Dan will be more than happy to have the shop to himself for a month or so. Calls me a Young Wippersnapper whenever I do something that he doesn’t agree with.” He pulled into the Trader Joes parking lot and smirked at his sister. “He’s a retired vet. You’ll meet him later today. He’ll love you.”
“Park closer to the store.” She motioned to an empty space. “He sounds like a delightful man.” She remarked dryly, a small grin coloring her features as she stepped out of the car. “We won’t be here too long, I promise.”
“Funny, I recall that every time I’ve heard that phrase, whatever it was referring to took twice as long as normal.” Nate retorted, pushing the lock button and shoving his hands into his coat pockets.
“Ah, but you’re forgetting one very important factor, my dear brother.” Brielle remarked matter-of-factly.
“And what’s that?”
Her arm slipped through the hole her brother’s arm made with his torso. “I’m not Mom.”
His laughter echoed across the parking lot and off the nearby buildings.
---------------
The house was huge, much larger than Brielle would have imagined her brother living in. Two stories of 1870’s architecture nestled in the expanse of trees and snow drifts made for a picturesque scene, one that she wished she could see during the summer. A frozen creek passed through the northern part of the property and a firepit with rustic chairs overlooked the creek. The property rested on a small hill with a dirt road passing below. The dirt road meandering through the woods expanded into a concrete slab that connected to the large barn-like structure where his shop was located. There was a small patch of tall bare trees separating the house property from the shop. The garage was detached from the house and had obviously been built in recent years. As the door opened, she saw the Mazda resting cozily inside, shiny and well-taken care of.
“Ah, the mid-life crisis car.” She mused playfully. “Pretty car, dude.”
He sighed, exasperated, and turned the car off. “For the thousandth time, it is not a mid-life crisis car! I’m only 24, Sis.”
The laughter was loud and boisterous. “And you are such an easy mark!”
“Oh shut up.“ Nathan loaded his arms with the bags of groceries and nodded at the bag. “Can you manage your bag?”
“No problem, Bro.” She flexed and arm and grinned. “I work out regularly.”
He snorted and waited until she had cleared the door before pushing the automatic door button and lead the way up the walkway to the house. “Careful with the steps, they’re probably iced up.
“I swear to God, you bought the whole store.” Nate complained loudly as he dropped his load of groceries on his kitchen table. Brielle was shortly behind him through the front door, tugging her rolling bag behind her.
“Oh stop whining, you big baby. There’s not that much in the bags. I’m here for a week, not moving in.” She dropped the bag and shut the door behind her, tugging of her warm outer wear. “Where can I plunk this shit down?”
His voice came from the kitchen followed by his body as he walked into the foyer. “There’s a coat closet to your left. Down the hall to the right is the guest room. I think I remembered to put sheets on the bed. If not, the closet next to the bathroom has the bedding.”
“Nice to see you rolled out the red carpet for me.” The sarcasm was obvious.
He had to laugh at her dry retort. “Only the best for you, Brie.”
A yawn threatened to escape and she scrunched her eyes to ward it off. He waved her down the hall. “Go sleep. It’s only 9:30. I’ll wake you up in a couple of hours.”
She smiled gratefully and gave him a side hug. “Love you, Little Brother.”
“Love you, too, Big Sister.” He squeezed her arm and turned back towards the kitchen. “I’ll put the groceries away for you.”
“Thanks.”
As she trudged to the room, she glanced at the walls. Clusters of picture themes were obvious as she studied them. Family pictures from childhood and vacations, pictures she had sent him from various places she had been, and photographs of cars that obviously had some meaning to him. She had to chuckle at the center piece of the car shrine: her own VW van that she and him had painted together.
The bedroom was decorated very simply. A navy blue down comforter with poofy pillows and simple white flannel sheets beckoned her to sleep and she heeded the call. Shucking off her shoes and kicking them towards the closet, she shoved the suitcase inside and turned to face the bed.
“Hello, bed. My name is Brielle. We’re going to be very close for the next two hours.”
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1 comment:
I love it! can't wait to read more!
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