Reclusion

In my opinion, one of the darkest sounding songs from Anberlin is Reclusion from their Cities album. Not only is the general feeling of the song dark, the words paint an interesting, yet morose, picture. If I had to chose a favorite Anberlin song, it would have to be Reclusion. I know the meanings of songs are completely up to the individual listener, especially if the artist hasn't released what he or she intended the song to say, and this song is no different. So, bare (bear? whatever) with me, because I am going to give my interpretation of the song from a bipolar, liberal woman's perspective.

In a nutshell, this song is about being, well....reclusive. [chuckle] Reclusion is, according to dictionary.com, "an act of shutting or the state of being shut up in seclusion." The first verse is talking about my inner self, the one that I hide from others. The inner self is the one who wishes everyone around him or her would just go away, would disappear, perhaps even die. And no one knows that I wish them gone, because that outer cover is firmly in place.

In the second verse, the song turns even darker. The longer I remain within my shell, the more dependent I become on it. It becomes everything I am. I have turned seclusion and depression into a form of art. I've shaped everything in my life around these two ideas and display them for all to see because its what I've become. I hide using the "I'm happy" barrier.

The third verse (if you can call it that, it's more of a bridge I think) talks about suffocating under the pressure of the outside world and the expectations of those around. People expect me to be who they want me to be and I start dying inside because I can't keep up with what people want. But I can't stop what I'm doing, I can't take away the mask, away the barrier, because I don't remember how to be myself. I've lived too long inside the shell to function outside of it.

The chorus simply talks about how the more I try and hide things I don't what people to know, the harder it becomes because there is only so much a container can hold. Hiding skeletons, or things in my past or even present that I wish to remain secret, start becoming impossible because of all the other skeletons that are taking residence inside.

I feel like this so often it feels as if he wrote this about me. I know he didn't, I know he wrote it about himself, but on the days where I don't want to be around anyone, where I don't want to socialize, where I wish simply to hide and avoid everyone, yet my friends drag me out to places and coerce me into "hanging out" this is how I feel. I'm sorry if you read this and are offended, actually, I'm really not. Because it's the truth. And if I can't be truthful, then what's the point of talking and baring your soul, as it were?

There's someone inside me that softly kills everyone around
They don't know they're dead to me cause intent never makes a sound
All along they found I strangled lovers who've learned from slower hands
With these eleven minutes I could teach you what I am

You're sick, sick as all the
Secrets that you deny
Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide
You're sick, sick as all the
Secrets that you deny
Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide

There's an art in seclusion. Production in depression
if a stranger turns up missing, this song is my confession
Tell the tales of the trail of dead, lovers learn from slower hands
Losing self in myself, inner demons make demands

You're sick, sick as all the
Secrets that you deny
Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide
You're sick, sick as all the
Secrets that you deny
Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide

You're suffocating me, so very hard to breathe
My mask is growing heavy but I've forgotten who's beneath

You're sick, sick as all the
Secrets that you deny
Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide
You're sick, sick as all the
Secrets that you deny
Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide