Every time I sit to write out a nice happy blog, depression gets in the way and slaps my words down, leaving only the sad behind.
I wanted to write a happy little blog about going home to Colorado for Christmas and all the joyous things I'm planning to do with friends and family while there.
And presents! I hope my family like the gifts I was able to buy with my meager funds.
If someone were to ask me what I wanted for Christmas two weeks ago, the list would've been filled with all sorts of delightfully nerdy things from my favorite online store ThinkGeek. If someone were to ask me today what I wanted for Christmas, the answer would be a hug from Chase. And coming from a girl who swore off anything girly, romantic, or cheesy a long time ago, this is a big deal.
I miss my boyfriend. I love that I can call him my boyfriend =) It still makes me giddy. The downside is that he lives in Minnesota while I still reside in Nebraska, a 7 hour drive one way. He came out to Lincoln November 19 (and that day we became "official") and stayed through the 26th. It was wonderful! Alas, that means I miss him so very much.
I've had a hard week so far as work is concerned since my boss is out of town for the week. Two of the residents are driving everyone absolutely nuts, myself included. Every night since Sunday I've wanted to curl up in a little ball and just cry myself into oblivion. Hence, greatly desiring the hug from Chase. Well, that...and he is my boyfriend. ^_^
I've been rather depressed since he left, and though I've done my best to hide it from him when we do our nightly Skype talks, he reads it in my eyes how much I'm struggling to remain on the happier side of my bipolar. I can't afford my meds, so I'm no longer taking them, which is making this all much much harder to deal with. Lucky for me, Chase is very sweet and understanding and I am so lucky to have met him. He's also a huge pain in the ass at times with the giving me crap and the sarcasm, but I love it.
Well, I think I succeeded in keeping this as non-depressive as I can manage at this point, so I shall bid you all a fond farewell for the night.
3 comments:
Long distance is tough for sure, I did it across half a country for over 2 years! Its totally worth sticking it out though :)
Distance (whether long, or just long enough to keep you from seeing each other daily) is quite the challenge, but as the previous comment-er noted, worth it.
Although I'm sorry that you're feeling depressed - and you know that I understand the burden of negative emotions - I'm glad that you have such an understanding boyfriend! And while you're working and under a great deal of stress because of it right now - I know that once you get to your much-deserved Christmas break, you'll enjoy it!
In the meantime - feel free to steal away to my place for a change in geeky venue! <3
You know, you could always call some evening so we could hang out; or go for ice cream; or a drink at The Mill; or game.
As for the gifts, it's the thought that counts. Not the price tags. Malisa's mentioned that some of the best presents that she's given/received cost $5 or less (it was a group gift swap).
Also, "Yay!" for your having a boy. =D
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